Recently, I have noticed a resurgence of parents afraid of “spoiling” their kids, in particular their newborns and infants by carrying them too often in a baby sling carrier. This fear of spoiling children certainly isn’t anything new. In the early half of the 1900’s, the overwhelming majority of child care experts discouraged new parents from holding their babies “too much,” warning that by doing so, they would not prepare their children for the harsh and cruel world that awaited them.

However, in 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock published “The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care.” Dr. Spock was one of the early advocates of mothers caring for their babies by using their own judgment to determine what was best for their baby. Today this concept seems like common sense, but at the time, it was revolutionary.

However, there are still many who warn new parents that excessively holding their baby will spoil the child. These people are known as “regulators.” Regulators believe that the child needs a disciplined routine to develop. The second group of people is referred to as “facilitators”. The facilitating parent acts reactively to the child’s physical or emotional cues of distress.

In 2001, A. Scher from the University of Haifa, Israel, conducted a study to determine which method of parenting created a stronger bond between the mother and child. Overwhelmingly, babies whose mothers used a facilitating approach to parenting displayed more “attachment” to their mothers than babies whose mothers used a more regulating approach.

So what does this mean for a new parent? It simply means that by holding your child and appropriately caring for your child when they begin to fuss, you build a relationship of trust and security with your baby. Building this sense of trust with your baby will actually foster your baby’s confidence to explore and interact with others. So relax, and worry more about what your baby wants and less about the what your peers and associates think.